Little Girls & Sunday Mornings

This morning was awesome. I love getting ready with my mom on Sunday mornings. It’s tradition by now. My mom, Lulu and I went and heard my dad speak as a High Councilman in another ward before going to our ward. It is crazy how much his speaking has changed. I have always felt close to my dad in that we are both just a little bit more reserved and neither of us have ever loved to speak in public. My dad was asked to be a high councilman a year or so ago (which means speaking in a different ward each month)- oh the irony. Our Heavenly father knows what we need and will absolutely make our weaknesses, strengths in order to better fit us for his kingdom. Through the spirit (and a godly intervention of practice ;) there is a quiet confidence that is so cool when he speaks now and the way he speaks is so sincere. SIDE NOTE: My dad also has this laugh that is just the best thing you’ve ever heard and only comes out when something’s really tickled him.. I love it. Anywho my mom superglued my face shut again (some food storage cans fell on top of me last night.. I did not cry till I looked in the mirror.. “WHYYYY this week…(Chas is coming to visit me in FOUR days!!! YAY:D)?”. AND Lulu turned 12 Thursday (she also learned she had pneumonia in both lungs currently- HAPPY BIRTHDAY LU) so she got to wear high heels for the first time ever today (pretty exciting stuff). I’ve realized I say: “I love!..” way too often but is OK because I just love everything and I LOVE love.

 I LOVE my home ward.. It is so HOME to me. Last week in Relief Society cute Ginger Turner (who I love and who has always written me cute notes and reminded me to keep bearing my testimony because “testimonies are recorded in Heaven”) asked me to share my experience “growing up in truth and righteousness” and how it affected me as I grew up and moved away for school. I do not love to speak publicly ever but today was one of those few times that I’ve had in my life as I’ve taught Relief Society, or Gospel Doctrine or spoken in church or born my testimony publicly that I got up to speak and I was completely overwhelmed by the spirit and words flew into my mind and out of my mouth accompanied by plenty of tears and the sincere confidence that only having the Holy Ghost speak through you can possibly bring about (at least in me). I had sat in sacrament meeting and the thoughts had come to me that part of me growing up in truth and righteousness, for me at least, was knowing my ward family and having the confidence that it wasn’t just my parents who brought their children up in “truth and righteousness” – there are so many examples all around me. And it struck me that the reason I can say that with so much surety is because I really KNOW these women’s children. Their daughters and sons are the youth that I grew up learning from. I “conversed concerning the welfare of our souls (Mor6:5)” with so many of these awesome kids. These conversations and their examples are what made the gospel of Jesus Christ that was made so dear to me in my home, solid to me in reality. I felt like this realization was a little out of place among the couple of other bullet points I wanted to briefly share, but felt impressed to share it anyways. These women in Relief Society with me are so special to me. They feel like my moms in the most comfortable way ever. Speaking in front of them i feel like the "little girl" Ginger introduced me as today. I LOVE being that little girl and sincerely wonder if I will ever feel all the way grown up. As soon as I shared the thought about their children the rest of what I wanted to share concerning the private teaching moments between my mom, dad and I, and concerning the power of kneeling and praying with my family, and of watching my parents open doors for others to take part in our family, all came through with a common sentiment of my real gratitude for these wonderful parents, and it came out of my mouth better than I ever could have articulated on my own.

I shared a memory of my mom saying with all the fever that she has always been able to muster “Don’t you dare make it so I don’t get to be with all my children throughout the eternities”. This gospel is REAL, the opportunities for us to be with our families throughout the eternities is so real. A hymn we sang today reads “Is it enough to know we must follow HIM through this vale of tears? NO! This extends to holier spheres”. (I've been thinking a lot about this lately due to the book "Visions of Glory" which adds the detailed visuals of one man to the prophetic signs I have always read about in the Book of Mormon, D&C and Bible.. Such a cool novel! Reminder of what this life is about and that this is not near "it") There will be a time when we are all working just to serve the purpose of our Heavenly Father; this life is just a tiny part of our existence but it is the biggest opportunity to grow our spirits we will ever get. We came here to get bodies and grow strong enough spiritually to bring our natural man up to our souls glory. I know I have a God who loves me. My heavenly father sees me for what my soul is made out of and he does not focus on where I fall short. He wants me to feel his forgiveness, his peace, his comfort, his strength, his guidance; he roots for me, and any other negative thought I have is not from him. He loves me and is constantly sending physical and spiritual angels to bear me up and remind me of who I need to be and what he sees in me. I am so grateful for the people in my life that love me to the point of seeing the best in me, they are just some of the angels that shape my life daily. I fall short of what these people see me to be more consistently than I meet their estimations but the things they insist that I am inspire me to want to be better. I think about my Quinny, and Cars, and Mckenna and Ginger Turner and Angie Tanner and Megan Oh and Cecily Marshall and am amazed by how much they have helped me create for myself in my own eyes an identity as a woman with a divine purpose. These women did not even know what they are doing as they picked me up and pricked me heart in the best and most edifying way as I’ve grown up. The words they have shared with me in the most inspired times have made me not only love myself better but want to be better and try harder. I hope I learn to listen to the spirit in order to express my love for people in a way that can touch them, as much as it’s been able to touch me.

Gingers adorable love notes:

“She has a huge testimony that radiates her soul. It's that spiritually that shines all around her. That scripture that say says "her soul a glows".
She has been fun to watch over many years how her testimony has grown but most of all how she wanted the answers for her own growth not to just to except but to internalize and spiritually make her own judgment and learn also and to expand her knowledge. Love and adore that about her.”

“Emily, a true prodigy after your Mother. I hold that as the highest compliment ever I could give (furreal.. I will never be quite as cool as her). It was perfect in every way and blessing the lives of all the Mothers in the room as well.
Thank you so much , you brought the Spirit it and it testified right along side everything you said.
Much love fondness and appreciation, I LOVE THE WOMAN YOU HAVE AND ARE BECOMING!  (I wanna be whatever wonderful woman she see's, so bad!)
Truly, signed sealed and delivered as a daughter of God, with a Noble birthright.
Thank you”

I so hope she realizes how much she makes me want to really really BE these things. She is an angel! Thank you Ginger!